Instead of “New Year, new you” how about “New Year, new view!?” Take on a new perspective around your body, one that offers acceptance instead of fixing, listening IN rather than out, and letting go of judgment in favor of self-care and connection.

Our innate human need to be social can create a difficult world for us. To feel safe we try to fit in, but in many cases the requirements to “fit in” are unattainable. What do we do? For most of us we struggle against our inner being to accommodate external expectations. How can we reconcile the two and be who we are on the inside, take care of our bodies, AND be a part of something bigger?

Start with seeing the BARRIERS

1. CURRENT BEAUTY IDEALS- It seems the collective agreement portrays a very specific body type, skin color, hair color, etc. as the “desirable norm.” We can see this playing out in the TV shows we watch, the social media “influencers,” and very likely the people in our lives that benefit from the current ideals/popularity contests around us. How many of us actually “meet the standard”?  More importantly, how much do these beauty ideals impact your decisions around who you interact with, enjoy being around, and love? How much life do we miss out on striving for this social construct? For more history on this check out The Body is Not an Apology and Fearing the Black Body.
2. FATPHOBIA- Why is it so bad to be fat? Your automatic answer might be because it means you’re unhealthy. Nah. Fat isn’t a health indicator, it’s a physical descriptor. And, fatness being associated with poor health is based more on discrimination than science. The association of weight and health is like the association between wearing a winter coat and getting hypothermia. It may seem like people who wear winter coats (larger bodied folks) are more at risk for hypothermia (ill health), but the coat is simply a natural response to getting cold (living). We as individuals feel the cold (live) and layer up according to our individual circumstances i.e. geography, destination, financial status, sensitivity to the cold, etc. (genetics, socioeconomic status, environment, education, social support, etc.). In some cases the warmest winter coat won’t save you from hypothermia, for others needing to wear a winter coat is never even an issue. AND, getting hypothermia (having poor health) does nothing to diminish your worth as a person, even if you chose to climb that dangerous mountain (live a big life). The books listed above will cover this topic too, but check out Body Respect and Anti-Diet to dig deeper into weight science.
3. UNCONSCIOUS AGREEMENTS- When did we agree to bust our butts to be thin, smart, pretty, tough, funny, etc.? When did you first realize there was a physical ideal or preference? These aspirations, while seemingly beneficial, can lead to more harm than good. These boxes that we try to fit into can quickly become cages of inescapable pain. What agreements did you make along the way that are keeping you trapped? “I should be in shape, rich, successful, married, etc. etc.” Can you see how these agreements (that were likely passed down to you) have kept you from spreading your unique wings? For more inspiration on this I love Untamed and I Thought It Was Just Me.

Then check your BEHAVIORS

Lean in where you feel BELONGING

Consider the unconscious agreements. What conscious agreements do you want to make? Who shares your values? Belonging starts with you belonging with yourself and the behaviors above can help you find it, but for support along the way reflect on where you already have a sense of belonging, or can go to find it.

1. IRL (In Real Life)- What people and spaces make you feel seen, valued, and safe? Who are YOUR people (or animals)? Be grateful for them and let them know their existence is important to you. Do you have a mentor or therapist to support you? Is there someone you could offer support to? Look for the human connections that give you a feeling of well-being.
2. Social media support- Find Facebook groups that share common interests or lifestyle pursuits. Discover diversity in bodies, minds, abilities, relationships, locations, etc. Here is a list of some of my favorite Instagram accounts to follow:
   • Idaho_Amy
   • Lizzo
   • Adalia Rose
   • Virgie Tovar
   • Amanda Lacount
   • Sitting Pretty
3. Imaginary/inspiring- Read or listen to books about faraway places, unbelievable adventures, and actual people doing amazing things. Subscribe to podcasts and YouTube channels that delve into your interests, that educate you on something new, or that just make you laugh.

Fill your life with YOU! Begin an open dialogue with your body. Get curious and find space to reflect. A positive body image relies on a relationship between you and your body, one where you care for each other. I promise you, your body has been doing its best YOUR WHOLE LIFE. Can you return the favor?

Note: If body positivity seems like a daunting task, aim for body neutrality, respect, or appreciation instead.